American Dogs in Europe- Destination Nowhere

Shortly before leaving on tour I watched a relationship dissolve before my eyes. It's easy to be an outsider looking in, but this one bugged the crap out of me because it was so obnoxious, cold, and completely unnecessary. So I took the first person narrative point of view, and I wrote an argument for my friend. Think of it as a kind of hostile Cyrano de Bergerac, trying to help his friend, not in love, but in war.

This press photo was taken by Matze in 2012

Destination Nowhere

You know more than you’re saying

And you keep, you keep delaying today 

It’s just a game that you play.

You keep on instigating

While I, I keep awaiting today

It’s just a game that you play.

Believing

Deceiving

You’re leaving 

Your destination?

Nowhere.

I Can’t tell if everything’s fine

Or if your out, out of your fucking mind

Because it’s how you unwind.

I wait, hesitating

While you keep on instigating you say

That it’s a game that you play.

Believing

Deceiving

You’re leaving 

Your destination?

Nowhere.

There ain’t no atttraction in this game

No atisfaction, no way

Fuck this game that you play.

Believing

Deceiving

You’re leaving 

Believing

Deceiving

You’re leaving 

Destination nowhere

CD track 4

EP side two/ track two

Released on Concrete Jungle Records, Germany (click here)

Released August 3, 2012

American Dogs in Europe- Stage Diving Daisy's Revenge

More than ten years ago I met a young woman who criticized my life choices. I presented the story in a song by ADZ called Stage Diving Daisy. The song was not a put down, but unfortunately was interpreted that way. I considered it more of an homage to the spirit of punk rock. However, the woman's voice, presented by none other than Josie Cotten, was sardonic and witty, and the song, while brilliant, did not accurately express its intention of celebration. In any event, it caused confusion.

I decided to try to restate the song by celebrating the young woman's growth as a human bein. Where she was once a young rebellious punk rock woman, she has followed her interests and is now has a PhD and helps people. 

Like me, she grew up in public, but she was the last of a generation that would grow up in printed word, as opposed as electronic media. 

Daisy's Revenge is simple, write your own rulebook. No need to explain, justify, or follow others. You are your own leader.

DAISY’S REVENGE

There was a time I was unaware

I’d lock my gaze on everything and glare

For no other reason than my will to be free

There was no power higher than the power in me

No need to justify

Or tell the truth when you look them in the eye

It’s our future, we have the tools

Might be there game but we make the rules.

In measured steps I’d play for time

In metered texts I’m looking for a rhyme

These riddles never made sense.

If I can’t break down walls, I’ll jump the fence

CD track 4

EP side two/ track one

Released on Concrete Jungle Records, Germany (click here)

Released August 3, 2012

The Fastst Kid Alive (Backstory)

the title
the skateboards
the first cover idea
the barefoot bandit

The Fastest Kid Alive- Peace Don't Cost a Thing

The Fastest Kid Alive- Branded

The Fastest Kid Alive- No Child Left Behind

The Fastest Kid Alive- Tokyo Au-Go-Go

The Fastest Kid Alive- Jefferson Memorial Dance Revolution

The Fastest Kid Alive- Serf City

The Fastest Kid Alive- Orange Crush

The Fastest Kid Alive- Can't Change the World with a Song

The Fastest Kid Alive- Learning to Swim

The Fastest Kid Alive- Too Fast, Too Loud

The Fastest Kid Alive- Babylon by Bomb

The Fastest Kid Alive- One Nation, Under Siege

The Fastest Kid Alive- Wars Aren't Won, Wars Are Fought

The Fastest Kid Alive- Inspiration

The Fastest Kid Alive- Operation FTW

Presumed Insolent- The Athena Decree

OC Confidential: OC Confidential

LP Side 2, Track 4

CD Track 11

Released 2005 on Finger Records, the CD is currently out of print.

The LP version of this is in limited release  

France: Slow Death/Opposite/Guerilla/WeeWee

OC Confidential: Let It Rain

LP Side 2, Track 3

CD Track 10

Released 2005 on Finger Records, the CD is currently out of print.

The LP version of this is in limited release  

France: Slow Death/Opposite/Guerilla/WeeWee

OC Confidential: Monsanto Hayride

LP Side 2, Track 5

CD Track 12

Released 2005 on Finger Records, the CD is currently out of print.

The LP version of this is in limited release  

France: Slow Death/Opposite/Guerilla/WeeWee

OC Confidential: Into the Fire

LP Side 2, Track 1

CD Track 8

Released 2005 on Finger Records, the CD is currently out of print.

The LP version of this is in limited release  

France: Slow Death/Opposite/Guerilla/WeeWee

OC Confidential: Death on Friday

LP Side 1, Track 7

CD Track 7

Released 2005 on Finger Records, the CD is currently out of print.

The LP version of this is in limited release  

France: Slow Death/Opposite/Guerilla/WeeWee

OC Confidential: Pointless Teenage Anthem

LP Side 1, Track 6

CD Track 6

Released 2005 on Finger Records, the CD is currently out of print.

The LP version of this is in limited release  

France: Slow Death/Opposite/Guerilla/WeeWee

OC Confidential: Guns of September

LP Side 1, Track 5

CD Track 5

Released 2005 on Finger Records, the CD is currently out of print.

The LP version of this is in limited release  

France: Slow Death/Opposite/Guerilla/WeeWee

OC Confidential: California Sun

LP Side 1, Track 4

CD Track 4

Released 2005 on Finger Records, the CD is currently out of print.

The LP version of this is in limited release  

France: Slow Death/Opposite/Guerilla/WeeWee

OC Confidential: Where The Children Play

LP Side 1, Track 3

CD Track 3

Released 2005 on Finger Records, the CD is currently out of print.

The LP version of this is in limited release  

France: Slow Death/Opposite/Guerilla/WeeWee

OC Confidential: Lockdown America

LP Side 1, Track 1

CD Track 2

Released 2005 on Finger Records, the CD is currently out of print.

The LP version of this is in limited release  

France: Slow Death/Opposite/Guerilla/WeeWee

OC Confidential: Hawks and Doves

LP Side 1, Track 1

CD Track 1

Released 2005 on Finger Records, the CD is currently out of print.

The LP version of this is in limited release  

France: Slow Death/Opposite/Guerilla/WeeWee

OC Confidential: Within These Walls

LP Side 2, Track 2 

CD Track 9

Released 2005 on Finger Records, the CD is currently out of print.

The LP version of this is in limited release  

France: Slow Death/Opposite/Guerilla/WeeWee

OC Confidential: Find a Way

LP Side 2, Track 6

CD Track 13

Released 2005 on Finger Records, the CD is currently out of print.

The LP version of this is in limited release  

France: Slow Death/Opposite/Guerilla/WeeWee

American Dogs in Europe- Conquest of the Planet of the See Monkeys

Conquest of the Planet of the See Monkeys is a play on words, intentionally referencing the great 1960's and 1970's brine shrimp craze, Sea Monkeys (click here) whic were always advertised in comic books. Sea Monkeys were supposedly "so eager to please that they can be trained" and cost many of us a great deal more in postage that a trip to the beach on the bus would cost to get the same little critters. Mine never had umbrellas, though. Kind of a huge bummer. 

In the song the phrase "See Monkey" (with see intentionally spelled that way) directly refers to the imitative phrase, "Monkey-see, Monkey-do." The term essentially means that people copy each other in atittude, dress, and actions. We are programmed at a small age and drawn in by marketing to the point that our whole reality is just an extension of a television show. 

The lyric "staring out your TV Eye.." is, of course, a Stooges reference (click here) which simply implies that even sexuality is being programmed by advertising. The song, then, is a criticism of consumerism and standardiztion.

Conquest of the Planet of the See Monkeys

From the Cradle to the grave
We are Media slaves.

Labeled, packaged, standardized

Consumer Analyzed-

Poster billboard generation

Spoonfed annihilation.

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do like I do

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do like me

Staring out your tv eye

We embrace the lie.

Dancing with a lottery wife

An imitation of life.

Jersey Shore to the OC

It’s our reality. 

Staring out your tv eye

We embrace the lie.

Labeled, packaged, standardized

Consumer Analyzed-

We are Media slaves.

CD track 2

EP side one/ track two

Released on Concrete Jungle Records, Germany (click here)

Released August 3, 2012

American Dogs in Europe- American Dogs in Europe

The title track to the EP American Dogs In Europe was written after the 2011 tour of Europe. The band on that tour was me, Steve, Dan, Mike McKnight, and Mando. We were out that year with Chris "Big Rock" Shaefer in his new van. The van would break down later in France, but at the time it was running fine. We also had two of our French friends with us as crew, Dudu (sound) and Bender (guitar) who were working with us. We borrowed their skills from the great French band Burning Heads (click here).

I had been robbed of my wallet and passport at the airport in Milan the day before, and we were on our way to the embassy in Munich to get me a new one thanks to Cathy Mason who was working for Bad Religion and had, thankfully, helped arrange an appointment for me to get it replaced with an emergency passport.

In Bavaria, however, we were pulled over, and the police made us get out of the van and then ran the van through a large x-ray machine. This was no surprise, really, as Shaefer, an American expatriate, was now a Czech citizen, and we were driving through Germany with a bunch of Americans and a couple of Frenchmen. 

However, we were detained for close to two hours, and after the police found no evidence of drugs or cigarettes or weapons, they then proceeded to go through all of our luggage. I found the whole thing rather fascinating and funny, until I had to try to explain to them that all of my medication was necessary. 

"What's this for?"
"Blood Pressure."

"What's this for?"
"Cholesterol. I eat too much sausage and cheese in Germany."

"What's this for?"
"Anxiety. I should probably take one now."

After going through the luggage, x-raying the van, and x-raying the luggage, the Bavarian police were still not satisfied with the fact that we were not smugglers, and then began to put on rubber gloves. By this time we were starting to get concerned that they may not release us anytime soon. What was to follow, however, was that they swabbed all f our hands, probably for narcotics and gunpowder. They found nothing and released us.

The lyric starts with a nod to Happy Tom of the Norwegian band Turbonegro (click here) who graciously took us to the Viking Museum (click here) and Kon-Tiki Museum (click here) in Oslo when we were there. He treated us like friends and guests in his country. The museums are an extensionof his family, with one of them being co-founded by his uncle.

The rest of the lyrics describe the confusion in being stopped, held, and treated like subhumans.

American Dogs in Europe

The signal starts and ends

Like Thor’s Kon-Tiki winds.

Too late- 

Too late to begin again.

With fire in our eyes

Unmoved by alibis.

Desire- 

Desire built on rumor and lies .

En route we’re locked outside,

Too deep we must decide

If we’re down-

If we’re down for the ride.

Presented their demands,

Palms up they swabbed our hands

Like dogs-

Sick dogs in foreign lands.

Dogs, dogs

American dogs in Europe

No Need to emphasize

Ideals that polarize

Opposition-

Opposition to analyze.

Five thousand miles from home

We stood their all alone

Accusations-

Accusations in the danger zone.

CD track 1

EP side one/ track one

Released on Concrete Jungle Records, Germany (click here)

Released August 3, 2012

This video was recorded and edited by Tony. It is one of the few online that we actually created.

Presumed Insolent LP- Stage Diving Daisy's Revenge

DAISY’S REVENGE

(Reflex/Soto)

There was a time I was unaware

I’d lock my gaze on everything and glare

For no other reason than my will to be free

There was no power higher than the power in me

No need to justify

Or tell the truth when you look them in the eye

It’s our future, we have the tools

Might be there game but we make the rules.

In measured steps I’d play for time

In metered texts I’m looking for a rhyme

These riddles never made sense.

If I can’t break down walls, I’ll jump the fence

Presumed Insolent LP- Conquest of the Planet of the See Monkeys

CONQUEST OF THE PLANET OF THE SEE MONKEYS

(Reflex/Soto)

From the Cradle to the grave

We are Media slaves.

Labeled, packaged, standardized

Consumer Analyzed-

Poster billboard generation

Spoonfed annihilation.

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do like I do

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do like me

Staring out your tv eye

We embrace the lie.

Dancing with a lottery wife

An imitation of life.

Jersey Shore to the OC

It’s our reality. 

Staring out your tv eye

We embrace the lie.

Labeled, packaged, standardized

Consumer Analyzed-

We are Media slaves.