The Adolescents on the Andy Dick Show

I got an invite through my friend German to do the Andy Dick show, His cousin Nicola works in the booking (I am assuming it is the booking, but the job appears to be more complicated than simply arranging guests) and thought I would be a nice fit to discuss autism and the current situation as it exists for my family. In a case of unintentional genius, or probable miscue- I misunderstood and thought that Nicola wanted me to bring the whole band. Over the course of the next two days I worked on figuring out what we needed to do to have a live set for the show, and when it was all said and done, we managed to actually pull off playing 4 songs streamed on a live internet show.

To the casual observer, of which I freely admit to being, Andy Dick is a comedian that has hit rough times in his professional and personal lives. He has been living in a modified shed, working a sobriety situation, and trying to maintain a professional career that has been sidelined in recent years by behavior that has annoyed, infuriated, and offended a number of people.  If your bread and water is built on a professional life where making and maintaining professional connections is critical, you can quickly find yourself without any bread, and dumped into the water. It's a rough trade.

Now, as always, differentiating between the reality tv bullshit, from the reality of life bullshit is oft times a blurry, fuzzy mess. The determination of truth (understanding, comprehension, whatever you want to call it) for someone like me is always a series of code, miscues and misunderstanding, and total confusion. I am naive, I over-think things, and I have a core belief in the good that exists in every human being. Placing me into a room full of comedians and actors can be a quandary of confusion for me. At my core I lack some of the fundamentals of what is called Theory of Mind- the theory postulated by Simon Baron-Cohen (yes, he is related to the comedian Sascha Baron Cohen; they are cousins) which essentially means that I have difficulty code breaking the intentions of others. It is common among people with autism and Asperger's syndrome. It is also a trait I recognize in myself. It is also one that gets me into the most difficult of social situations and awkwardness.

I have believe that at the root of most comedy is a serious dose of anger fueled at the core by optimism- the inner belief that things can and will get better- and that comedy is essentially the last cry of the marginalized and disenfranchised part of the human soul. At the root of it all is a very bitter pill, and bitter pills are either hard to swallow, or the vestige of something better to come.

Comedians, however, are a mystery to me- I mean, I really do like to laugh- but actors and comedians can code switch in ways that are foreign to my understanding. I simply lack the wiring to crack the codes that they navigate so quickly and dynamically. For a person like me, to drop into a situations generated and fueled by a myriad of talented comedians is like dropping an egg from a very tall building. If it is cushioned, prepared, and adjusted for impact, it might just weather the fall and fail to crack completely. I was ill prepared, but I was there with five of my friends, and an interested ally- and they were all there to help me share- at least for a moment, what happened to my son (see theebrandenburgs.blogpot for more on that.) In any event, to appear on a live, off the cuff, sketch-talk show.

I realized almost immediately that we were going to be missing part of the necessary tools for a live performance. The vocals were feeding directly into a board so that they were heard through the internet channel- but there was no monitor or p.a. for the vocals. The staff of the show were working to find something to help, but we assured them it would be OK, and that we can make it work. For anyone reading this who doesn't already know,  Rule #1 is to treat people with respect and dignity, and rule #2 is to always assume that people are trying their best to help, and so, refer to rule #1. The bottom line, rule #3, everyone has the desire for a successful outcome and are working with you, not against you.  The crew was great, and it felt great. When it came to the rock, we delivered what we knew how to do. We may not be a culturally significant act like Lady Gaga, but we are veteranos, and we can rock your ass off in a garage with a single microphone and 40 of your pals just as easily as we can with a serious stage production and 5000 of your closest chicken mcbuddies.

In any event, I left the show yesterday believing a few things. I realized that comedians, much like musicians, have to work a club circuit that is fueled by the selling of booze, and for comedians that means they have to have a position on the use of alcohol- just like musicians do. It is a drag to realize this is a core requirement, especially if alcohol can't be one of your vitamins. That means that you have to, essentially, dance uncomfortably around a room that has temptation, desire, and relief in every corner. If you are able to dance through it comfortably, you still have the core philosophical and existential dichotomy- the knowledge that you rely on alcohol for your bread, countered by the knowledge   that you are pushing poison to others through performance, advertising, or whatever. The clincher is that if you indulge you may as well kiss your meager gains goodbye- and that is a drag. Alcohol cannot be a part of my life, and yet, like food, it has to be.

I also left the show yesterday with the conviction that relationships are critical to our collective strength, and that without that collective strength, we are individually doomed to make the same mistakes again, and again. We have to be able to call out our friends- even if they are our bosses- and we have to be able to do it in direct, non-confrontational, but caring ways. That doesn't mean that they will respond- but it does mean that we should be able to do so without fear of reprisal or retaliation. This is not to snitch on one another, but it is to console, support, and remember who we are and why we are here, there, or anywhere.

American Dogs in Europe- Destination Nowhere

Shortly before leaving on tour I watched a relationship dissolve before my eyes. It's easy to be an outsider looking in, but this one bugged the crap out of me because it was so obnoxious, cold, and completely unnecessary. So I took the first person narrative point of view, and I wrote an argument for my friend. Think of it as a kind of hostile Cyrano de Bergerac, trying to help his friend, not in love, but in war.

This press photo was taken by Matze in 2012

Destination Nowhere

You know more than you’re saying

And you keep, you keep delaying today 

It’s just a game that you play.

You keep on instigating

While I, I keep awaiting today

It’s just a game that you play.

Believing

Deceiving

You’re leaving 

Your destination?

Nowhere.

I Can’t tell if everything’s fine

Or if your out, out of your fucking mind

Because it’s how you unwind.

I wait, hesitating

While you keep on instigating you say

That it’s a game that you play.

Believing

Deceiving

You’re leaving 

Your destination?

Nowhere.

There ain’t no atttraction in this game

No atisfaction, no way

Fuck this game that you play.

Believing

Deceiving

You’re leaving 

Believing

Deceiving

You’re leaving 

Destination nowhere

CD track 4

EP side two/ track two

Released on Concrete Jungle Records, Germany (click here)

Released August 3, 2012

American Dogs in Europe- Stage Diving Daisy's Revenge

More than ten years ago I met a young woman who criticized my life choices. I presented the story in a song by ADZ called Stage Diving Daisy. The song was not a put down, but unfortunately was interpreted that way. I considered it more of an homage to the spirit of punk rock. However, the woman's voice, presented by none other than Josie Cotten, was sardonic and witty, and the song, while brilliant, did not accurately express its intention of celebration. In any event, it caused confusion.

I decided to try to restate the song by celebrating the young woman's growth as a human bein. Where she was once a young rebellious punk rock woman, she has followed her interests and is now has a PhD and helps people. 

Like me, she grew up in public, but she was the last of a generation that would grow up in printed word, as opposed as electronic media. 

Daisy's Revenge is simple, write your own rulebook. No need to explain, justify, or follow others. You are your own leader.

DAISY’S REVENGE

There was a time I was unaware

I’d lock my gaze on everything and glare

For no other reason than my will to be free

There was no power higher than the power in me

No need to justify

Or tell the truth when you look them in the eye

It’s our future, we have the tools

Might be there game but we make the rules.

In measured steps I’d play for time

In metered texts I’m looking for a rhyme

These riddles never made sense.

If I can’t break down walls, I’ll jump the fence

CD track 4

EP side two/ track one

Released on Concrete Jungle Records, Germany (click here)

Released August 3, 2012

American Dogs in Europe- Conquest of the Planet of the See Monkeys

Conquest of the Planet of the See Monkeys is a play on words, intentionally referencing the great 1960's and 1970's brine shrimp craze, Sea Monkeys (click here) whic were always advertised in comic books. Sea Monkeys were supposedly "so eager to please that they can be trained" and cost many of us a great deal more in postage that a trip to the beach on the bus would cost to get the same little critters. Mine never had umbrellas, though. Kind of a huge bummer. 

In the song the phrase "See Monkey" (with see intentionally spelled that way) directly refers to the imitative phrase, "Monkey-see, Monkey-do." The term essentially means that people copy each other in atittude, dress, and actions. We are programmed at a small age and drawn in by marketing to the point that our whole reality is just an extension of a television show. 

The lyric "staring out your TV Eye.." is, of course, a Stooges reference (click here) which simply implies that even sexuality is being programmed by advertising. The song, then, is a criticism of consumerism and standardiztion.

Conquest of the Planet of the See Monkeys

From the Cradle to the grave
We are Media slaves.

Labeled, packaged, standardized

Consumer Analyzed-

Poster billboard generation

Spoonfed annihilation.

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do like I do

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do like me

Staring out your tv eye

We embrace the lie.

Dancing with a lottery wife

An imitation of life.

Jersey Shore to the OC

It’s our reality. 

Staring out your tv eye

We embrace the lie.

Labeled, packaged, standardized

Consumer Analyzed-

We are Media slaves.

CD track 2

EP side one/ track two

Released on Concrete Jungle Records, Germany (click here)

Released August 3, 2012

American Dogs in Europe- American Dogs in Europe

The title track to the EP American Dogs In Europe was written after the 2011 tour of Europe. The band on that tour was me, Steve, Dan, Mike McKnight, and Mando. We were out that year with Chris "Big Rock" Shaefer in his new van. The van would break down later in France, but at the time it was running fine. We also had two of our French friends with us as crew, Dudu (sound) and Bender (guitar) who were working with us. We borrowed their skills from the great French band Burning Heads (click here).

I had been robbed of my wallet and passport at the airport in Milan the day before, and we were on our way to the embassy in Munich to get me a new one thanks to Cathy Mason who was working for Bad Religion and had, thankfully, helped arrange an appointment for me to get it replaced with an emergency passport.

In Bavaria, however, we were pulled over, and the police made us get out of the van and then ran the van through a large x-ray machine. This was no surprise, really, as Shaefer, an American expatriate, was now a Czech citizen, and we were driving through Germany with a bunch of Americans and a couple of Frenchmen. 

However, we were detained for close to two hours, and after the police found no evidence of drugs or cigarettes or weapons, they then proceeded to go through all of our luggage. I found the whole thing rather fascinating and funny, until I had to try to explain to them that all of my medication was necessary. 

"What's this for?"
"Blood Pressure."

"What's this for?"
"Cholesterol. I eat too much sausage and cheese in Germany."

"What's this for?"
"Anxiety. I should probably take one now."

After going through the luggage, x-raying the van, and x-raying the luggage, the Bavarian police were still not satisfied with the fact that we were not smugglers, and then began to put on rubber gloves. By this time we were starting to get concerned that they may not release us anytime soon. What was to follow, however, was that they swabbed all f our hands, probably for narcotics and gunpowder. They found nothing and released us.

The lyric starts with a nod to Happy Tom of the Norwegian band Turbonegro (click here) who graciously took us to the Viking Museum (click here) and Kon-Tiki Museum (click here) in Oslo when we were there. He treated us like friends and guests in his country. The museums are an extensionof his family, with one of them being co-founded by his uncle.

The rest of the lyrics describe the confusion in being stopped, held, and treated like subhumans.

American Dogs in Europe

The signal starts and ends

Like Thor’s Kon-Tiki winds.

Too late- 

Too late to begin again.

With fire in our eyes

Unmoved by alibis.

Desire- 

Desire built on rumor and lies .

En route we’re locked outside,

Too deep we must decide

If we’re down-

If we’re down for the ride.

Presented their demands,

Palms up they swabbed our hands

Like dogs-

Sick dogs in foreign lands.

Dogs, dogs

American dogs in Europe

No Need to emphasize

Ideals that polarize

Opposition-

Opposition to analyze.

Five thousand miles from home

We stood their all alone

Accusations-

Accusations in the danger zone.

CD track 1

EP side one/ track one

Released on Concrete Jungle Records, Germany (click here)

Released August 3, 2012

This video was recorded and edited by Tony. It is one of the few online that we actually created.

Song by Song, Album by Album

I have decided to go through  catalogue on album at a time and explain what each song is about, as well as to share the lyrics for each. There is usually a back story, and I see no reason to let that all die with me. 

I have released lots of albums, and EPs, and even a single now and again. I wrote lots of songs, so I would imagine this will keep my busy for a long time. I think I will stick with songs I wrote the lyrics to, but I will share impressions and stories regarding others' songs, as well.

More than likely this will continue to be an online diary, as no one but me seems to read it anyway, ha ha. So, let's see if I can actually make this happen.

ADOLESCENTS TOUR EUROPE 2013 UPDATED

JULY
12.07.13 GER-Berlin, SO36
13.07.13 GER-Stuttgart, tba
14.07.13 GER-Marburg, Cafe Trauma
15.07.13 NED-Hengelo, Innocent
16.07.13 BEL-Kortrijk, The Pit's 

17.07.13 FRA-Lorient, @ le Galion
18.07.13 FRA-Bordeaux, @ l'Heretic
19.07.13 FRA-Toulouse, @ le Seint des Seins
20.07.13 FRA-Miramont de Guyenne, @ Festival Abracada 'Sons
21.07.13 FRA-Lyon, @ Warm Audio22.07.13 FRA-Paris, @ la Flèche d'Or

23.07.13 GER-Freiburg, Walfisch (& Goodbye Fairground)

24.07.13 GER-München, Feierwerk (& Goodbye Fairground)

25.07.13 GER-Nürnberg, Zentralcafe im K4 (& Goodbye Fairground)
26.07.13 ESP-Badalona, Estraperlo Club
27.07.13 GER-Regensburg, @ Jahninselfest
28.07.13 SER- Belgrade @ tbc29.07.13 ITA- Monza (Milan), F.O.A. Boccaccio

30.07.13 ITA- Rome @Torcervera 109 

31.07.13 ITA, Bari, @ Oasi Sanmartino

AUGUST
01.08.13 ITA- Cagliari, Sardenia @ Cueva Rock
02.08.13 ITA, Naples, tbc
03.08.13 ITA-Portomaggiore (Ferrara), @ What is Rock Festival
04.08.13 AUT tbc
05.08.13 AUT tbc
06.08.13 AUT tbc
07.08.13 GER-Karlsruhe, Alte Hackerei (& CH3)
08.08.13 NED-Eindhoven, The Rambler
09.08.13 BEL-Ieper, @ Ieperfest (with CH3 +TSOL + Black Flag)
10.08.13 GBR-Newport, @ Le Pub
11.08.13 GBR-Blackpool, @ Rebellion Festivals
12.08.13 GBR-London, @ Underworld (with Casualties)
13.08.13 NED-Tilburg, @ Little Devil
14.08.13 GER-Köln, @ MTC (with TSOL)
15.08.13 GER-Hamburg, @ Hafenklang
16.08.13 GER-Stemwede, @ Stemweder Open Air
17.08.13 GER-Riesa, @ OJH Open Air (With TSOL + The Stitches)

23.08.13 USA- Long Beach @Alex's Bar

2

Lyrics to Adolescents: Presumed Insolent (entire album)

BIG ROCK SHOCK

(Reflex/Root)

My Self-help guru

Jumped off of a bridge

With Static magnificence

I’m out on a ledge

I’m in shock

I’m in shock 

Big Rock Shock

I need to scream

A scream isn’t enough.

This scream comes from a place

We never wanted to be.

Life gives us so much

We forget how lucky we are

Until we’ve been robbed

Of the things that matter the most.

CONQUEST OF THE PLANET OF THE SEE MONKEYS

(Reflex/Soto)

From the Cradle to the grave

We are Media slaves.

Labeled, packaged, standardized

Consumer Analyzed-

Poster billboard generation

Spoonfed annihilation.

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do like I do

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do

Monkey see, monkey see, monkey do like me

Staring out your tv eye

We embrace the lie.

Dancing with a lottery wife

An imitation of life.

Jersey Shore to the OC

It’s our reality. 

Staring out your tv eye

We embrace the lie.

Labeled, packaged, standardized

Consumer Analyzed-

We are Media slaves.

DAISY’S REVENGE

(Reflex/Soto)

There was a time I was unaware

I’d lock my gaze on everything and glare

For no other reason than my will to be free

There was no power higher than the power in me

No need to justify

Or tell the truth when you look them in the eye

It’s our future, we have the tools

Might be there game but we make the rules.

In measured steps I’d play for time

In metered texts I’m looking for a rhyme

These riddles never made sense.

If I can’t break down walls, I’ll jump the fence

DISSATISFACTION GUARANTEED

(Reflex/Soto)

Well this is a story about little boys

Degeneration built on structure and poise

On an island of broken toys

Dissatisfaction guaranteed

In the pool of Narcissus

In this place of servants and kings

Climb up the ladder you get more things

Pull the puppets by broken strings

Dissatisfaction guaranteed

In the pool of Narcissus

Kids play Zeus with crocodile smiles

Holding court; they hold it with style,

Top dogs spitting venom and bile.

I can play along with the helicopter moms,

The queen bees, the ding and the dong,

The wicked witches singinging along.

Dissatisfaction guaranteed

In the pool of Narcissus

And I can play the king and play it with glee,

Rattle cages of lollipop thieves;

Sierra Madre don’t mean nothing to me.

Hear the Echo, yeah here we go,

In the village where no one knows

Who will follow and who will lead.

FOREVER SUMMER

(Reflex/Soto)

A marketing dream

If we play like a team

The profit unreal

A win-win for all 

An atomic Mall

Beachfront appeal

I’ll make the pitch

Without a hitch

We’ll seal the deal.

Here comes the summer

Here comes the summer

Forever Summer

Here comes the summer

Here comes the summer

Forever Summer

This land is gold 

Leave no lot unsold

Profits won’t cave

We bring glowing waves

Protest parades

To power slaves

People don’t care

When they aren’t aware

No buyer beware

S-a-n - Ono- f-r-e

We built your dream house next to the sea

S-a-n - Ono- f-r-e

Buy today and we’ll wave the closing fee

Here comes the summer

Here comes the summer

Forever Summer

Here comes the summer

Here comes the summer

Forever Summer

SNAGGLETOOTH AND NAIL

(Reflex/Soto)

Snaggletooth, tooth and nail-

Snaggletooth, tooth and nail-

Snaggletooth, tooth and nail-

Snaggletooth.

Vermin attack from the dark

Setting loose dogs- no bite, all bark.

We came back with a roar, 

They ran back to Hell

When we came through the door.

It took a village to screw

To screw our lives to fuck 

Like it was nothing new.

Treated us like we were a game

Try to play us like we were to blame

TRUTH or Snaggletooth?

They’d best keep this in mind

This isn’t over until the end of time

Heed this warning as proof

You can run, 

You can’t hide from the truth

TIC-TAC AT THE ALLIGATOR TREE

(Reflex/Soto)

There’s a place where trouble dwells

Between El Monte and Hell

Lots of vamps- lots of tramps

Below the Bible Belt.

We can laugh, joke, and play

Dance the day and night away.

Got a swamp beat you can’t deny

Tonight’s the night to let it fly

Tic-Tac at the Alligator Tree.

I talk to spirits, I talk to trees,

I talk to Ritter, I talk to D,

I talk to Lux, to Jeffrey Lee

I’d talk to you but you don’t matter to me

We can laugh, joke, and play

Dance the day and night away.

Got a swamp beat you can’t deny

Tonight’s the night to let it fly

Tic-Tac at the Alligator Tree.

We’ll Tic-Tac at the Alligator Tree

We’ll Tic-Tac at the Alligator Tree

I wan’t excitement, I want more,

A reputation you can’t ignore

To make a statement like never before

And Tic-Tac at the Alligator Tree.

I wan’t excitement, I want more,

A reputation you can’t ignore

To make a statement like never before

And Tic-Tac at the Alligator Tree.

THE ATHENA DECREE

(Reflex/Soto)

Push the button, then let it go.

Push the button, then let it go.

How long until I blow?

What’s the limit?

Well I don’t know.

Something boiling

You can’t see

An explosion inside of me.

I am more than you can see

Approximations

You won’t believe

Restitution

A state unknown

Retribution and broken bones

Push the button, then let it go.

Push the button, then let it go.

BROKEN WINDOW

(Reflex/Mia Brandenburg/Soto)

Tell me why people call these eyes

The window to the soul-

Yeah tell me 

Why I can’t read your eyes

Just tell me how-

Then tell me

How to act-

I can’t act that way,

How to look-

I can’t look that way,

How to speak-

I can’t speak that way.

To look away, just look away

Tell me why I’m not listening

I’ve had enough

Heard enough,

Yeah tell me 

Why I need to see your eyes

That window’s shut

I’ve had enough

Then tell me

Don’t look away.

Broken- broken

Broken Window

Don’t Look Away

Tell me why I knew it all along

It felt so wrong

Felt so wrong.

And tell me why

I sense the vice, the apathy

Then tell me

Don’t look away

IN THIS TOWN EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL

(Reflex/Mia Brandenburg/Soto)

In this town everything is wonderful 

In this town everything is wonderful

In this town everything is wonderful

In this Goddamn town.

We moved to town- 

The Mrs. and me

To settle down 

On a quiet street.

We had tall trees,

Butterflies, bumblebees.

This town has everything you need.

So we set up house

We planted seeds.

When they came up, 

We pulled the weeds.

There’s a church on every street

Birkenstocks for your feet-

This town has everything you need.

In this town everything is wonderful 

In this town everything is wonderful

In this town everything is wonderful

In this Goddamn town.

They have pitchforks at the park

There’s a curfew when it’s dark-

This town has everything you need.

They have a school patrolled by rats

They won’t put up with this or that.

They stamp out little boys

When they make too much noise-

This town has everything you need.

In this town everything is wonderful 

In this town everything is wonderful

In this town everything is wonderful

In this town everything is wonderful 

In this town everything is wonderful

In this town everything is wonderful

In this Goddamn town.

RIPTIDE

(Reflex/Soto)

Living on the outside

On the outside looking in

Caught in a struggle-

A struggle you can’t win.

Head above the water

On the outside looking in

Head above the water

It’s about to begin,

Riptide

No pointing in fighting

We’re taking a ride.

Riptide

No pointing in fighting

We’re taking a ride.

Want to trust in someone

No one left to trust.

No message, No messanger

Rising up from the dust.

No absolution

Nothing to forgive

No need to apologize

For the life that you live.

Riptide

No pointing in fighting

We’re taking a ride.

Riptide

No pointing in fighting

We’re taking a ride.

PRESUMED INSOLENT

(Reflex/Mia Brandenburg/Soto)

Told me where to meet

To keep me off the street

That’s no plan for me,

That is no place to be.

Presumed insolent.

Said I’d never learn

Kicked me to the curb.

That’s no plan for me,

That is no place to be.

Presumed insolent.

Told me what to think.

I’m not a machine.

That’s no plan for me,

That is no place to be.

Presumed insolent.

300 Cranes

(Reflex/Soto)

It was a different time

Another life it seemed 

He’d pay the price

For broken schemes and broken dreams

A man-child on the road of the damned.

I feel kind of empty

I feel kind of down.

I got to get me right.

300 cranes.

300 cranes.

300 cranes.

Build them up and tear them down

Again.

I watched him fold into the night

One page at a time.

His eyes were glazed

His fingers amazed

On the edge of a dime.

I feel kind of empty

I feel kind of down.

I got to get me right.

300 cranes.

300 cranes.

300 cranes.

Build them up and tear them down

Again.

He stopped, paused, and looked around

Like it was meant to be.

“If I could do it tonight, 

I could set them free.”

I feel kind of empty

I feel kind of down.

I got to get me right.

300 cranes.

Build them up, 

Tear them down again.

Troy Brandenburg.  (1964-2001)